What to do when dating young gets old: How to break up with your sugar baby

How To Break up With Your Sugar Baby?“It’s not you, it’s me”…that’s it? That’s the best breakup line you can come up with? You’ve sewn your wild oats. You’ve decided that the Sugar Daddy lifestyle isn’t for you. You’ve just found another, possibly even younger, woman that you like better. Whatever the reason, it’s time you cut the ties with your current sugar baby. But how do you do that with the least amount of drama, conflict and the (very high) chance that you’ll be kicked in the nuts?
 
Have no fear. We’re here to help.
 
First of all, be forewarned that this will be an experience the likes of which you haven’t been involved with since you were in high school. You will have to go through “John Hughes” moments from women who were too young to ever have seen “Sixteen Candles”. There may even be badly written, angst filled poetry involved. But with a few simple guidelines, you will weather the storm, walk away with your dignity intact, and (probably) not need medical attention.

  • Be Firm: When you have decided to break up with someone, Do it! Don’t be moved from your resolve because the tears start to flow or promises to “do better”, “change”, “try anal”, or anything else are made between the sobs. It’s like ripping off a band aid; quickly is the best way. It may involve some screaming, but it’s better to just get it over with and get on with your life.
  • Be understanding: Being firm doesn’t mean you have to be a jerk. Don’t leave her with broken self-esteem. For one thing, it makes it that much harder for the next guy. Show a little solidarity with your fellow Sugar Daddies. There’s no need to leave a trail of broken down, emotional baggage laden, beautiful women in your wake. Therapists have plenty of business as it is. They don’t need your help. Focus on all the great qualities that attracted you to her in the first place. Make some up if you have to. Leave her thinking that being without you is for HER benefit, not yours.
  • DON’T SLEEP WITH HER: No “breakup sex”…NEVER! No “one last time”. I don’t care how much you want her physically, don’t do it. Don’t. Just don’t. This is the greatest of “mixed signals”. It is also the hardest rule to follow. In her mind, if you sleep with her then you want her…completely. She will believe that you not only desire her body, you are just confused and lying to yourself about wanting to break up with her. You just need to be reminded of how devoted you are to this great love affair. Avoid the temptation to even flirt. This should be a time of crystal clear signals. Avoid the cleavage and stay focused on your goal of ending the relationship.
  • Don’t breakup on holidays: Also, don’t breakup on any day that held significant meaning in your relationship. If Groundhog Day was a day you sang that precious karaoke love song to her at that funky diner you two always went to, pick another day. Holidays, birthdays and the like can be an emotional time for people in the best of situations. There’s no reason for them to have to be painful reminders of a breakup as well. Remember what I said about therapist. They don’t need your help in drumming up business.
  • Lie: I know most people will tell you “honesty is the best policy”. I’m not one of those people. Sometimes a lie is perfectly acceptable. Blame the breakup on your career. One of the reasons she was attracted to your sugar daddiness in the first place was because your maturity and drive was so unlike the “boys” she is used to dating. Use this to your advantage. Tell her you are being transferred, promoted, etc. and just don’t have time for a relationship right now.
  • Cut off all ties: This includes electronically. In a perfect world it would be great if you could “just be friends”. Some couples actually achieve this after a breakup. Most do not. It may speak to an emotional deficiency in our culture, but it is a fact. So go ahead and block her on Facebook, filter her emails, change your phone number if you must. Don’t frequent the same public places you two used to go to…at least for a while.
  • Breakup by email: I know this seems like the most heartless and cruel way to do it. But, especially if you already meet sugar babies online, it might just be the best way. It’s surely the safest and most hassle free. If online was a good enough starting place for this relationship, it’s a good enough ending place.

 


 

I’ve tried to broach this subject with a bit of levity along with the truth. Mutually beneficial relationships aren’t always easy. The fact of the matter is that most breakups are painful and difficult…for both parties involved. Just try to treat the other person with the same respect and compassion that you would want. Simple as that.



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